Gender, Identity, and the Family—A Journey Toward Deeper Understanding

Exploring gender and family roles has profoundly affected how I view relationships, identity, and the deep influence on our perceptions. At the core of this reflection is President Gordon B. Hinckley’s teaching: "Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." This truth frames gender not merely as a social construct or biological fact, but as something sacred, a divine partnership designed to fulfill God’s purposes.

Our class discussions helped me understand how typical male and female traits often complement each other in a way that benefits families. For instance, women excel in caring, teamwork, and building relationships, while men typically lead in providing, leading, and guarding roles within the family. Although these qualities aren’t fixed or exclusive, when they are recognized and respected, they can create a strong balance in family life.

Reflecting on my own experiences growing up in India, I saw these roles play out in real life. My dad was often away from home for long stretches because of his work. During those times, my mom stepped up and took charge at home. She never officially carried my dad’s “chief” title, as is traditional in Indian families, but she became the central support of our household. She managed discipline, met emotional needs, and kept our family connected. Through this, I came to understand that leadership and love aren’t confined to gender; they simply take different forms that can work together in harmony.

This foundation helped me as I began to explore the more complex topics of gender identity and same-sex attraction this week. Until now, my cultural background has largely shaped my views. In India, for example, male friends holding hands or hugging in public are seen as an expression of brotherhood, not romance. However, after coming to the U.S., I noticed that similar actions can be interpreted very differently. This contrast helped me recognize how much context matters when we try to understand human identity and expression.

The reading that affected me most was Empathy vs. Understanding vs. Information. It explained that people sometimes mistake media stories for knowledge, and that empathy without true understanding leads to the misguided conclusion. The article introduced the idea of four quadrants based on high or low levels of empathy and knowledge, which gave me a framework to evaluate how I personally respond to sensitive issues.

This made me reflect on how I’ve reacted to people who identify as LGBTQ or who experience gender dysphoria. My instinct has always been to show kindness and support immediately. After studying this topic more closely, I realized that true love requires more than kindness. The videos and readings also challenged me to think deeply about what it means to “redefine marriage.” If marriage is seen as a God-ordained union between male and female in complementary roles, then changing that definition to fit any lifestyle creates a conflict with divine design. Yet, this realization doesn’t mean rejecting people with same-sex attraction. On the contrary, the gospel calls us to respond with kindness, support, and honesty.

This idea also connects with how I want to build my family our earlier lessons about social class and cultural influences on family roles. In many immigrant families, for example, parents become more authoritarian in unfamiliar environments to protect their children. I’ve seen this pattern in families around me. It’s helped me understand that gender roles aren't just inherited from tradition; they're also reshaped by the circumstances and challenges families face.

This week helped me realize that family gender roles aren’t just something we passively inherit—they’re something we actively create. With effort, reflection, and prayer, we can shape those roles to strengthen our families. Great families don’t just happen; they’re built intentionally, and building them means learning how to combine empathy and truth in ways that create harmony and growth.