The Fabric of Family: Weaving Tradition and Transformation

Social class and cultural diversity helped me realize how deeply family dynamics, traditions, and roles are shaped not only by culture but also by socioeconomic forces. Through both the readings and personal reflection, I’ve come to appreciate how my family, like many others, has been molded by traditions, economic demands, and deeply held values about unity and responsibility.

One of the most striking things that I learned was from the research "The Costs of Getting Ahead: Mexican Family System Changes After Immigration." It analyzed the way undocumented Mexican families experienced changes in family roles, parenting, and emotional bonding due to the pressure of immigration. I was especially interested in reading about the concept of family, which emphasizes strong family loyalty and solidarity. Despite all these challenges, such as long working hours by parents. It brought to mind the fact that even my family, back in India, depended on cohesive bonding and common beliefs to survive tough times.

For example, as a child, my father was a police officer and was usually posted at various camps for five to seven months at a time, every two years. That left my mother to be chief in charge at home. In Indian homes, traditionally, the father is typically thought of as being the chief of the family. Even though my mother had leadership roles at home during those moments, the cultural thinking continued to place my father atop the family hierarchy. I remember when we misbehaved, my mother would threaten to "call Dad," and we would get in line immediately. She was strict when strictness was sometimes needed, even spanking us when we were refusing to obey, but love and correction motivated everything that she did. In her own limited way, she preserved both the health and the psychological health of our family.

Social class affects not just our finances, it affects the way we parent, the way we love, and what success means. In immigrant families, as in the research, parents become more authoritarian in America because they're attempting to buffer their children from bad influences in a culture they don't understand. Meanwhile, adolescents become accustomed more rapidly to the host society and become "cultural brokers". This clash, of course, but it can also work as a bridge.

One powerful story from my own life took place when my father was invited to move to America for a work visa. He turned it down. He believed that the reversal of social and cultural norms would be too disruptive to our family. That resonated with me. It wasn't an economic choice, it was a choice regarding preserving our family culture. One choice taught me that sometimes family values are above making money.

Reflecting on these lessons, I've started thinking about the culture that I wish to create in my own future family. There are two aspects of my culture that I certainly plan to continue: (1) Respect for elders and authority, which has given me advice and humility, and (2) unshakeable family loyalty, which has been our emotional safety net. There are, however, also two aspects that I'd like to build upon. First, I'd like to create a more emotion-filled space. Emotions are not always spoken or expressed in most Indian homes, and especially with dads. Second, I wish to balance discipline with open communication, something I never got to grow up with, but learned is the foundation for building trust.

Great families don't exist by chance, they're constructed with intention. As President D. Todd Christofferson has stated, we must create "sustainable cultures." To me, that is about clinging to what supports love and faith, and letting go of habits that do not assist us to grow. Culture is powerful, but it's also flexible. We can shape it, within our families, within our marriages, and through our choices. Being aware of that gives me hope and responsibility.